WORKING WRITER For people who write

Ten Myths for the Modern Writer

by Rebecca Tope

1. The Myth of the Magic Bullet. To listen to speakers at writing workshops and conferences, and authors of all those “How-To” articles and books, you might be forgiven for thinking there's a clear set of guidelines you can follow, and hey, presto! Your writing will be snapped up by publishers and you'll be a household name in no time. The real world is not like this. Getting published happens in a thousand different ways and nobody really knows what will work until it happens.

2. The Myth of the Introductory Letter. Many aspiring writers think that if they can just say the right things in their cover letter to the agent or publisher, success must surely follow. Wrong. If you've written a truly amazing book, your letter can say, “Here's the opening 20 pages of my book. Hope you like it. Postage enclosed in case you don't” -- and you won't spoil its chances. If you've written an old-fashioned dull book, the best cover letter in the world won't disguise this sad fact.

3. The Myth of The Synopsis. I have met writers who spend weeks composing their synopsis. (I've even see a book called How to Write a Synopsis, which I think is the last word in exploiting the aspirant.) These writers give reams of background information on their characters, and explain precisely why each episode is what and where it is. Imagine how unspeakably dreary this is to read. The only purpose of a synopsis is to persuade the publisher that you are reasonably likely to finish the book one day, since you have a rough idea of how it all ends up. Half a page is more than enough.

4. The Myth of the Best Three Chapters. It does happen that people submit Chapters 5, 11, and 19 of their novel because these contain the most exciting or beautiful passages in the book. The publisher will assume that they contain the only exciting and beautiful passages in the book. Send the FIRST THREE chapters, unless your chapters are each 50 pages long, in which case, send only the first one.

5. The Myth of Infinite Patience. It often happens that a writer will submit an excellent first 10,000 words of a novel, with a neat and appealing synopsis, and the agent or publisher responds positively. “Send us the rest,” they say. You haven't actually written the rest but have every confidence that another two or three summers will break the back of it. You tell all your friends you have an acceptance. But the publisher is bought out, the editor dies, the agent changes career. Even if they're still there, they will have long since given up on you. I forget the actual figure but there is an astonishing statistic for how frequently this happens.

6. The Myth of Neat Presentation. Sometimes people believe that if they can only present their work properly, the battle will be won. So they carefully staple each chapter separately, and then stuff them into nice tight-fitting plastic wallets to keep them clean and shipshape. I would estimate that over half of the editors, readers, whoever, on the receiving end, will not even attempt to extract your pages from these straitjackets. It's not usually worth the broken fingernail. And they definitely aren't going to want the horrible job of getting them back in again.

7. The Myth of E-Mail. Okay, e-mail does exist. And publishers and agents do use it. But they have a habit of putting a contract out on any writer submitting their entire novel via cyberspace. Think about it. Who provides the paper, the toner, the electricity needed to read the darn thing?? It is probably the single most self-defeating thing a would-be author can do. It isn't even very wise to make an initial approach via e-mail, either. Send a letter. These people are working with books. They like paper. And they like you to pay for their reply.

8. The Myth of the Perfect Author. It is tempting, I know, to assume that you have to be female, 28, blonde and quirky to sell a novel these days. It is equally tempting to pretend to be just that. Call yourself Cinnamon Kent and invent a CV to sustain this persona, and wait for the offers to flood in. The snags are manifold. If it works, the lies will become impossible to sustain. But it won't work -- because the new Perfect Author is due next week, and that'll be Gus Drewett, aged 66, retired sheep farmer. Think about Thomas Lynch, to name just one example.

9. The Myth of Just Desserts. Anyone spending any time in a bookshop will be aware that Quality doesn't always win through. There is a lot of dross out there. However, this isn't altogether a myth. Most of the ooks on the bestseller lists are very well written. Even so, you can have spent your whole life honing your writing skills, producing exquisite prose, networking with all the right people -- and still never make it. You deserve to, heaven knows. But life isn't always like that.

10. The Myth of Money. Almost nobody makes serious money by writing fiction. Real serious success means earning an advance of maybe $75,000 for a three-book deal. You'll probably have to make that advance last for three years, and you're unlikely ever to see another penny for those particular books. If you don't earn the advance -- and many people don't -- you won't be asked for it back but you'll never get that sort of sum again.

Rebecca Tope is a mystery writer, resident in the UK. Her novels, A Dirty Death and Dark Undertakings, were published in the US by St. Martin's Press. She has run her own small press, Praxis Books, since 1992 and has worked in all aspects of publishing.